That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
