It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
