you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize