I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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