walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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