Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
