Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
