best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
