i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
