dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
