you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
