He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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