i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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