hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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