All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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