I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
