you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
