i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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