before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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