It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
