can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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