after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize