i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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