so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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