2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
