yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
