on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Rumble strips road head = magical
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
