If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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