I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize