I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
