All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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