I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
