D3 body, D1 cock
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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