and you said cock pushups were impossible
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
