You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
