Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
