hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
