beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
