what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
