butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
