Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
