Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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