Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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