ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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