We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
