I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
