He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
