yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just threw up on my dentist
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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