Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
