Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
