Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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