whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
