you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
