dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
