just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
