Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i came on her dog
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
