Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
