the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
