I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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