you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
