a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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