How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
