The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We are all done wearing pants today
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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