I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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