lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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