So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
