epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
