Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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