Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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