Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
