he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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