her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize