You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize